About “Calling Off” A Wedding

This is an article from Huffington Post Wedding about five signs you might want to call off a wedding. I know this is not fairy-tales-thingy. But I think everyone should consider this stuff before saying “I do”. Have a good read! 🙂

By Christina Steinorth forYourTango.com

You would be surprised how many women going through divorces tell me they knew they were making a mistake when they walked down the aisle — in more recent headlines, Kim Kardashian even shared this similar sentiment. Below are five warning signs you may want to consider before saying “I do.”

1. You don’t get along with his family. Many couples go through with weddings hoping all the family stuff will “just work out.” Don’t fall into this trap because it seldom does. In fact, issues with in-laws tend to get worse over time — especially when babies come along. If his family is causing a problem in your relationship before you’re married, you may want to give serious thought to calling off your wedding.

2. You’ve dated for less than a year. Most people are on their best behavior for the first twelve months of a relationship. After that, people tend to let their guard down a little bit and you get to see what a person is really like. This is important because ideally when you get married, you will be spending the rest of your lives together — you will need to know if your partner is someone you can live with on a day-to-day, long-term basis after the honeymoon phase of your relationship is over.

3. You haven’t come to an agreement about kids, careers and other fundamental issues. So many couples get caught up in wedding planning, that they forget to talk about the fundamental issues of sharing a life together.
Will you have kids? How many? What religion will you raise your children? Where will you live? Will one of you be a stay at home parent? How will holidays be handled? How will housework be divided?

Couples should spend at least as much time paying attention to the details of their lives together as they do to the details of their weddings. If you can’t come to an agreement to these types of fundamental issues before your marriage, you should consider calling off your wedding until you reach a mutually acceptable agreement on the details of your lives together.

4. You lack conflict resolution skills. A lot of couples write off arguments before a wedding as “wedding day jitters,” but the truth of the matter is that if you have horrendous arguments and fights with your partner and nothing ever seems to get resolved, you may want to consider calling off your wedding until the two of you work on your conflict resolution skills. Long-term relationships require good conflict resolution skills and the good news is that they can be learned if both couples are committed to doing so.

5. Your gut feeling is telling you to call it off. We have gut feelings for a reason and where most of us get into trouble is when we don’t listen to them. If your gut feeling is telling you to call of your wedding, it’s probably a good idea to listen to that feeling and at the very least postpone your wedding until the feeling goes away. If you are meant to be together, that current gut feeling that is telling you “don’t do it,” will eventually pass.

*Christina Steinorth, MA, MFT is a private practice Psychotherapist and the Author of “Cue Cards for Life: Thoughtful Tips for Better Relationships.”

Thank God I havent got the second thought of marrying him. Not yet, oops. Tho he’s been acting like a jerk lately and I feel like I hate him. Yeah, whatever. This is a good article. You gotta be honest to yourself. If something happen to you, you feel confuse or anxiety after read this article, maybe you should discuss that to your spouse-to-be. Reconsider stuff until you really sure about marriage is an important thing. Good luck :*

Advertisements

[On Prayer to God]

Hello Giggles made a very nice article. It’s a prayer to the wedding gods. Since, I dont believe in wedding gods, but only believe in Jesus Christ, the one and only Lord in earth and heaven, I make my own list. Some are just the same, because basically I’m just an ordinary bride to be. Check it out! 😉

Pray with me 🙂

Dear Jesus, I know You are so good and I know You already plan my wedding eventhough I have no idea (well, just a little actually), here are things that I need you to put more concern. Yet not my will, but yours will be done. *angel emoticon*

 

1. PLEASE MAKE ME THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN MY WEDDING. I mean it, God, because I cant stand if one of the guests or families looks more beautiful than me. No, please dont.  That’s my day. So..

2. Please do not let my hair end up looking like “oma-oma” (Mothers in Bataknese).

3. Please do not let me look like a hooker in all the make up I have to wear.

4. Please do not let me spill something on my dress.

5. PLEASE DO NOT ALLOW ME TO FALL AS I WALK DOWN THE AISLE.

6. Please keep my nervous laughter (or big smile, You choose) at bay as I say my vows.

7. Please let the food be good. You realize what them Batak will say to everyone if they dont get good food at my wedding. Oh, let the food be enough to everyone too. I mean, those Batak mothers are so freaking wild when it comes to food. But at least, let everyone have a nice experience on food at my wedding.

8. Please don’t let anyone talk crap about me or my dress or my hair, at least until I am well out of ear shot.

9. Sun would be ideal, but if that doesn’t fit in with your other plansm then just normal weather will be fine. Cat and dog rains, hurricanes – those kind of “events” would be hard not to take personally.

10. Can you kind of do an opposite thing where the camera takes off 10 pounds instead of adding it? It apllies to the groom to 😀

11. Please do not let me look like a hooker in all the make up I have to wear. I wish everyone will see me as the most beautiful bride they ever seen. I know it sounds too much, but hey, You are Lord of the lords, remember?

12.  PLEASE DO NOT ALLOW ME TO FALL AS I WALK DOWN THE AISLE.

13. Please let me fit into my dress. And my shoes make me comfortable all day long.

14. Please don’t allow me, because of said nerves, call my husband to be some other name like Ryan or Eric Bana. His name is “HIM”. Got it?

15. Please let it be drama free. I mean this, God. You know how drama queen my aunties are. Please make them really really love me just for a day in  my life.

 

 

July 2013

Bear with me readers..

I just got off the phone with my mom. And she said that the wedding day doesnt have to be on October. I can have wedding on July. Because she misinterpret what my grandpa said. The wedding day doesnt have to be a year after my father died. The most important thing is the two (my father’s death and wedding day) cant be in the same year. So, I guess we’re back to July 2013. 

Hopefully I dont have to change the wedding day again. No, thanks :*

Our Wedding Day is gonna be..

..on October 5 next year.

Some of my families said I cant have a wedding till a year after my father died. So, there it is. We decided, the wedding will  be held on October 5 next year. There’ll still be some changes due to the WE-DONT-BOOK-ANY-BUILDING-YET. *oke tenang tenang*

The thing is the venue that I really want to held my wedding is close next year. I was very excited because it’s gonna be Sopo Godang (Jalan Sudirman, Medan) but now, I am kinda freaking out cause I havent figure out what venue I’m gonna book. *deep sighs*

We have several options about the building vendor:

It’s located in Jalan Sei Mencirim No. 172, Medan. My brother got married in there. And somehow I dont want to get married in the same venue. No spesific reason. Think I’d better get marriend in different building so our guests will get the different mood when they’re attending ours.

(Un)fortunately, Wisma Jaya Puri makes the most sense for us. Him told me that maybe this is the venue that will be evidence of the start of our life together. *tsaah*

My mom suggested this venue. Because it’s near to our home (me and him). I kinda agree with her. Well, despite that deep down in my heart I still hope that Sopo Godang is available to book on October next year :p

 

You have any suggestion for us about wedding venue in Medan, readers? Please kindly tell us :*

the quest of wedding ring (part 1)..

..is over last weekend. And I can say I am pretty satisfied of what I saw in Gold Center Cikini with him.

 

So, me and him, went to Cikini on Saturday. Pas gugling dan baca berita ini, we thought the place of sentra emas Cikini itu luas. Ternyata tidak begitu.

Sentra emas yang dimaksud cuma berada di satu gedung yang terletak persis di seberang Stasiun Kereta Api Cikini, alias deket2 sama KFC Cikini. Gedung tua ini berisi belasan toko emas dalam ukuran kecil. Ada toko yang ramai pengunjung, ada juga yang sepi. Sebenarnya ada satu gedung lagi yang –katanya, bakal diisi sama toko-toko emas juga. Tapi gedungnya masih dalam tahap dibangun jadi masih kosong melompong.

The very first outlet me and him visited was Toko Paris. Di toko ini kita langsung dapet cincin yang kita mau. Modelnya bagus dan up to date, cocok di tangan kami berdua, daaaannn harganya yang paling murah. Memang sih kita cuma dateng ke sekitar tiga atau empat toko, tapi Toko Paris ini yang bener-bener oke dari berbagai sisi yang aku sebutkan di atas. 

Ada sepasang cincin yang kita emang udah cocok banget, tapi belum kita ambil karena kayanya kecepetan kalau beli sekarang. Lagipula harga emas lagi mahal, jadi mungkin belinya tahun depan pas harga emas turun 😀 *giggles*

Waktu itu sih ga ngambil gambar tapi kira2 deskripsinya seperti ini: emas putih yang di setengah lingkarannya ada aksen kotak2 menjorok ke dalam yang dibentuk pakai emas kuning, dan di tengah2 cincin ada berlian. Jadi kalau sepasang cincin ini disatukan, maka berliannya akan membentuk gambar hati. ❤ ❤

Pertama, karyawan toko bilang harga emas yang kita mau sepasang itu sampe Rp 15 juta. *WTH* Kita langsung panik (dalem hati) karena itu jelas2 overbudget. Tapi dia langsung nambahin, “Kalau mau, kita bikin yang baru, dan harganya lebih murah.” Ini dia rincian dari cincin yang kita liat di Toko Paris. 

Emas 10 gram       :  Rp 4,1 juta

Berlian 0,10 (x2) : Rp 2,5 juta

Ongkos bikin         : Rp 600 ribu

Jadi, totalnya Rp 7,2 juta.

 

Cincin yang kita lihat di toko-toko lain tidak begitu menarik hati kita, terutama aku sih. Him not very rempong about this wedding ring. I do 😛 Selain modelnya gak ada yang cocok, harganya pun lebih mahal. No, thank you, lah yaa..

wedding rings

 

Kira-kira begitu sih cincinnya, walau aksen emas kuning yang daku bilang beda jauh 😀 Tapi semoga dapet gambarannya yaa.. 

 

 

 

P.S: Apparently rubby is not very suit for wedding ring. Maybe, after I get married, him would give me the kind of ring that has rubby in it 😀 *finger crossed*

 

Happy wedding-rings hunting, guys! :*

I Want My Wedding Ring To Be..

..modest but also extraordinary. To be honest, I fall in love with ruby and I want it to be in my wedding ring.  Yang pasti harus emas putih atau platina (bukan emas kuning). Model cincinnya simpel saja, seperti model cincin biasa, tapi harus ada mata cincinnya. Selain berlian, aku mau ada ruby di cincin pernikahanku. 😀

Karena belum hunting cincin nikah (rencananya weekend ini when him visited me :D), ini beberapa model cincin yang daku mau. Look at them all, ruby is the focus cause it makes every ring looks faboluous 🙂

 

 

 

 

Arent they lovely? Well, I havent made up my mind about the wedding ring just yet. Emang pengennya ada ruby-nya. Tapi belum tahu juga apa itu cocok untuk cincin pernikahan. Karena ternyata, orang bule pakai ruby untuk cincin tunangan.

What about him wedding ring? Oh, kamu jeli sekali. For him, the wedding ring will be simpel. Kalau bisa ada berliannya juga, tapi tanpa ruby. Karena gak cocok juga ya warnanya terlalu mencolok for him yang kulitnya tidak secerah aku. Hahaha. *ditujes*

Jadi, rencananya weekend ini, me and him akan berburu cincin pernikahan di beberapa lokasi. Pertama, Mall Taman Anggrek. Di sini ada beberapa vendor cincin yang sepertinya keren. Tapi karena diprediksi harga selangit, jadi mungkin kita liat-liat model aja dulu di Frank Duet atau toko perhiasan lainnya di TA. Setelah liat berbagai model di TA, kami akan mengunjungi pasar cincin di Cikini dan Melawai. Dari browsing-browsing, biasanya sih, calon pengantin berburu cincin di situ karena harganya tergolong murah dan modelnya buanyak.

Well, lets see how it goes. Wish us luck yaa :*

 

Pernikahan Adat Batak itu..

..RIBET! Yap, itulah yang ada di kepalaku ketika membayangkan pernikahan yang disertai tata cara adat Batak. Tapi itu dulu. Ketika aku tidak tahu apa-apa soal detilnya.

Sebenarnya tidak terlalu ribet, asal kita mencintai adat Batak yang sudah mendarah daging. Lagian, setelah orang tuaku menikahkan dua orang anaknya (alias saudara-saudaraku), aku baru sadar, pernikahan adat Batak itu tidak terlalu ribet.

Memang ada beberapa tahapan yang harus dilalui, seperti, Marhori-hori Dinding, Marhusip, Martumpol, Pemberkatan, dan Adat. Correct me if I’m wrong, tapi setidaknya lima tahapan itulah yang harus dihadapi pasangan pengantin (dan keluarganya) yang berdarah Batak dan beragama Kristen agar dua sejoli menjadi satu di hadapan Tuhan.

Ketika memutuskan menikah tahun depan, me and him, mulai browsing untuk mendapatkan info dan segala macam hal yang penting berhubungan dengan ini. Jujur saja, susah sekali mendapatkan info yang akurat, apalagi inspirasional. Tapi dari sedikit itu, kira-kira ada beberapa blog yang sungguh membantuku menambah pengetahuan soal pernikahan.

Blog pertama dari seorang artis. Aku baru tahu kalau dia itu Batak juga dari blognya. Meskipun menikah di Jakarta, tapi tetap saja dia memakai adat Batak dan itu cukup membantuku mendapat gambaran soal acara pernikahan adat Batak.

Natasha Desiree

When I showed this blog to him, him said that the wedding is out of reach. Terutama soal biaya. That’s okay. I told him, I dont want all those fancy stuff at my wedding. I just want the (exact) same stuff with much lower  cost. Hihihi.

Kalau ini sih, aku tahu orangnya, karena dia senior di kampus. Tapi aku baru tahu dia pernah menuliskan tentang persiapan nikahnya di blog. Him showed it to me. Him thought the wedding were much suitable for us. Him made sense 😀

Mungkin masih banyak lagi blog yang menceritakan tentang detail pernikahan yang bisa membantu calon pengantin untuk mendapat info yang tepat. Tapi yang dua ini sangat menginspirasi. Apalagi awalnya aku sangat blank mau mempersiapkan apa untuk pernikahanku. 😀

You can check out their blogs and get inspired like me. Ciao :*